On My Own (For A While)
Posted on January 29, 2008 by Melissa
Filed Under Budgeting, Relationships
Yesterday, before the sun even came up, Eric was on his way to the airport for an extended trip. 2 weeks. He doesn’t even get to come home over the weekend. It’s the longest we have been apart since we have known each other.
It’s going to be a lonely few weeks while I hold down the fort.
When Eric goes on business trips, I find that my “alone self” faces several challenges that have the potential to affect my budget. I think we all have little things we do (or don’t do) when our partners leave town. The changes in your behavior when you’re on your own can be subtle or obvious. Maybe you leave the dishes in the sink or rent lots of movies when you are alone. Maybe you enjoy shopping sprees or rounds of golf at the country club.
Eric’s typical business trips are about 3-4 days long and the slight changes in my habits don’t usually cause any issues. But what about 2 weeks worth of that same behavior? That could cause budgetary distress.
This time, I decided to come up with a way to battle my quirky “on my own” habits before they add up to a problem.
Problem #1: The allure of the quick and easy
For me, it’s the evenings that are the worst. While I’m normally busy preparing for dinner, I now find myself no longer cooking for my usual audience. I love to cook, but mainly for other people’s pleasure. If it’s just for me I lean more towards making something quick and easy or getting take-out. Without an audience I won’t be in my normal dinner routine and making my typical economical dinners.
Solution: Keep on cookin’
I will invite several of my friends to come over in the evenings for dinner. By cooking for them I will maintain my normal cooking routine and keep my food costs down. I can also microwave the leftovers the next day to make quick heat-and-go meals. In order to resist the temptation to order out I will go to the store and get a few cheap and easy meals (like mini pizzas) for when I really want something bad. I expect the prepackaged food will raise my costs but not nearly as much as dining out would.
Problem #2: Fear of the boogeyman
I tend to be a little nervous at night when I’m home alone. I was afraid of the dark as a child and that same fear still affects me when I’m by myself sometimes. Because of that I find myself keeping way too many lights on. Eric tells me that there is no reason to be afraid of the dark and while I understand that, it doesn’t seem to help when he leaves on trips. At least I don’t need to keep lights on all the time (it could be worse).
Solution: Make it cheaper to be irrational
This weekend we made sure to change out all the light bulbs for CFLs in the key places that I would want to leave on if I’m spooked (front door, back door, living room, kitchen). I will also make sure that I turn off any extra lights as soon as I’m up in the morning. I expect that I’ll be able to wean myself off the extra lights over the course of the 2 week period but if not, at least I’m only using a fraction of the energy I would have been with the regular light bulbs.
Problem #3: Staying connected
We like to stay in touch when one of us is out of town but to keep our cell phone costs at a minimum we keep our minutes at a minimum as well. One trip out of town and the whole month’s minutes can be used up if we aren’t careful.
Solution: Chat it up online
After work, we talk on the phone briefly to say “hi” and touch base. Then we both get on our computers and continue to talk about our day using instant messenger. This helps us to be able to chat for longer periods of time without blowing all our minutes. We already have unlimited online access so it works for us. As a bonus we can still get other work done on the computer while we chat. I love multitasking!
So, do you have any little habits that pop up when your partner goes out of town? Please share!
Image Source: malias
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I can totally relate to all three things you mentioned! Last year, my husband was away for six (!!!) weeks on business and I struggled with similar issues. He frequently has to go away for a few nights or a week at a time now.
#1 - I try to cook one big “one pot” meal on the weekends and eat leftovers most of the week, supplemented by easy foods, like sandwiches and pasta.
#2 - I leave the TV on with the sleep timer, so there’s light & noise when I fall asleep, but it doesn’t up the electric bill too much. It balances out with him being gone anyway - he likes the long hot showers!
#3 - We have a cell phone plan (Verizon) with unlimited “IN” minutes to anyone else who has Verizon, so it’s free. If he travels frequently, you might want to look into this.
The other issue I ran into was the need for human contact, so I ended up seeing my friends, and going out, more than usual. I balanced this with the lower grocery bill and still came out under budget.
Have fun on your own! It can be nice sometimes to have a little “me” time.
Some really great tips here. When my wife is gone I typically do the Ragu and pasta thing and then raid the freezer for dessert, not good. Great idea to invite friends to cook for. Keeps you active as well.
My husband is an OTR truck driver, so i am use to him being gone. He is usually home on the weekends only. I find i get a lot done when he is gone. I also get pertubed when he is home for more than two or three days. I know it sounds awful, but when you are use to doing your own thing and then here he comes changing your routine it is hard to adjust. My son and I usually eat leftovers from the weekend or i will make spagetti or something else that is simple.
Maybe take some time to read or get some things done that you have been putting off.
I feel for you. My husband had to go on a two week business trip last June, and it was tough.
I wish I had some good suggestions. I tend to go for quick and easy dinners. I also left a light on at night.
Fortunately we have a cell phone plan with lots of free minutes between our phones, so we talked to each other a lot over the course of the two weeks.
I hope it goes quickly for you!
(in this instance it’s my wife who’s away) and I resort to avoiding any housework for a few days until I realise that I haven’t got anything left to eat off or drink out of and then I go on a major cleaning frenzy, cleaning anything that moves, including the dog.
spent 8 years in navy and 2 years in marine corps. married a marine (35years) so separations are not strange in our household…best thing to do is keep up your usual acitivities…stay busy. read alot. and keep in touch with your friends and neighbors. keeping your normal routine is really important…try to limit those quicky frozen dinners-they really are not good for you. if you have leftovers…freeze them. get movies and books from public library. maybe even volunteer for something while you are “on your own” like visiting retirement home or a public school etc… don’t let being alone at home scare you into doing nothing for yourself or sharing with someone else.
I find that when my spouse is gone, I revert to college-student mode wherein I forget how to take care of myself appropriately.
Case-in-point: last time, I decided that since he wasn’t around I didn’t really need to cook at all. I ended up having peanut brittle for dinner one night because it tasted good and I was feeling lazy. Shockingly, I woke up the next day with a horrendous headache.
I’m trying to get better. I definitely hear you on #s 1 and 2 though. :)
2 weeks? Sorry, my eyes are rolling. Good thing you didn’t marry a soldier. Try 12 - 18 months in a combat zone - 3 times now and another one coming. 2 weeks is actually perfect…you get some alone time and then start to miss them in time for an appreciative reunion.
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