Don’t Save The Worst For Your Family

Posted on January 24, 2008 by Melissa
Filed Under Relationships, Work

No crusty end pieces for me! This is a little off topic but I thought it was still worth posting.

I was feeling crabby after a particularly stressful day last week and I noticed that I was being a little short with Eric. We were doing our normal routine of chatting while I prepare dinner. It was a subtle change and he didn’t mention it but I knew I wasn’t being as nice as I could have been. He had done nothing wrong - I was simply allowing my frustration from earlier to affect my attitude that evening.

Whatever ticked me off that day was distracting me and stealing my time with my husband. I just had to let it go so we could enjoy our evening. I look forward to our conversations in the kitchen every night (it’s our time to connect and bond as a couple) and it would have been sad to let something trivial interfere with that. Now that I write this I don’t even remember what even irritated me that day. I guess that shows how important it was in the scheme of things, right?

Are you striving to give your very best at work only to end up giving your family the worst of you afterwards?

Do you exceed at your job only to come home and sit on the couch at night, too exhausted to interact meaningfully with your kids? Maybe you work so hard to keep the household and kids in order that you find yourself missing out on bonding time with your family? Are you known as “the nice one” in the office yet you rarely remember to say nice things to your spouse?

Pardon the horrible example, but it’s like giving your work the best part of the prime rib and giving your family the crusty little end pieces.

Sometimes we can get so caught up in our work and our problems that we forget what’s most important. Isn’t our family the reason we work so hard for in the first place? Shouldn’t we try to save a little of the best of us for the people that matter most in our lives?

I’m not trying to imply that you should do a less than stellar job at work. It’s only to remind you to show the ones at home some stellar treatment, too. The people who love you deserve it and the effort you put into those relationships will be worth more than anything you can achieve at work.

Image Source: VirtualErn

Comments

7 Responses to “Don’t Save The Worst For Your Family”

Jennifer on January 24th, 2008 8:08 pm

Great post, and so true. I think it does go along with frugality, because a huge part of frugality is in prioritizing, “what is most important to us?”, and “how can I get the most value from what is most important?”
Mom2fur on January 25th, 2008 7:53 am

You are so right–we need to remember what is truly important. Money can always be replaced. Hurtful words are a lot harder to take back.
I’ve been happily married for over 27 years. We dated for 9 years prior to that–yes, we were highschool sweethearts. I think one reason we’ve lasted so long is that we don’t talk AT each other, we talk TO each other.
Next time you have a bad day at work, don’t grumble and take it out on your husband. Grab yourself a nice hug from him, and then start a conversation! (”Wow, the dumbest thing happened at work today!”) Hopefully, this will open up a dialog (dialogue?) and he’ll start telling you about his day, too. It will help you vent, you’ll get it out of your system, you’ll have a nice conversation with the number one guy in your life…and there won’t be crusty end piece in sight.
MA on January 25th, 2008 8:03 am

This hit a little close to home. Thanks for being so honest and reminding me of what really matters.
SavingDiva on January 25th, 2008 8:44 am

I’ve definitely been there…now that my boyfriend is far away, we just get to talk on the phone. I’m usually tired and a little grouchy, so we’ve been talking for about 10 minutes. I really need to become better on the phone if I want this long distance relationship to last.
Mar on January 25th, 2008 10:04 am

Been there, done that. As a single Mom, I feel it’s ALL on me - money, household, working, errands, activities, etc. I tell my daughter, who is 12 and can now accept this, that I need about 30 minutes to unwind or a Mommy time-out and then I’ll be normal again - or as close as possible.
Kyle on January 25th, 2008 11:29 am

Well said, I know the feeling as well. Some nights I just don’t feel like getting down on the carpet and playing with the kids and can be short with my wife. It is something I am conscious of and trying to improve upon.
fathersez on January 26th, 2008 12:39 am

You are so right.

We often sacrifice the more important things for work related matters.

As we grow older, I think the lines get better drawn. Some of us get to one side and recognise that we have more important things that we must take care of, whilst others go to the other side and end up with broken families and such.

Balance, that is the key. And how to get this balance, that is the dilemma.