Don’t Get Me Anything = You Better Get Me A Gift?

That’s IT? This weekend is our first wedding anniversary. I guess we can no longer call ourselves newlyweds. Eric says I’ll be an old married hag after the weekend. Well, at least officially now. :-)

An interesting thing happened when Eric was traveling for work recently. He had dinner with several co-workers that he doesn’t see very often and they remembered that about this time last year he was getting married. Eric confirmed that our anniversary was approaching.

“So, what are you getting her?”

Eric said “Nothing, we decided not to give gifts for this anniversary”.

“You’re kidding, right? Did she say it was ok not to get her a gift?”

“Yes, we both discussed it and decided that we weren’t going to exchange gifts”.

They couldn’t believe it and refused to accept that I didn’t want anything for our anniversary. All four of them promptly informed Eric that he better get me gift and that it better be a good one. “Jewelry is a clear winner” one of them said with the others nodding in agreement. Another talked about how he had to get his wife something really nice for their first anniversary. They even called over the waitress to ask her what she thought (for a woman’s perspective) and she said “That’s code”. They all felt Eric was making a grave mistake.

Eric, feeling pressured, said that we were going to go out to a nice dinner instead. That seemed to placate the group as they responded that nice dinners are good and that should help. But they still stressed that he better also get me something nice.

When Eric told me this story a few days ago I felt a little insulted. They assumed that I would say one thing while meaning the opposite and that I would be disappointed when he actually did what we agreed on. And they implied that Eric was naive and didn’t understand what I really wanted if he didn’t get me a fancy gift.

Surely not all of these guys got into marriages with women that expect gifts despite saying the contrary. I have to hope that this conversation was some sort of guys-against-girls bonding episode using the stereotype that women always want (and expect) sparkly things. Eric says they were dead serious, though.

I told Eric that he should’ve replied “For our anniversary we are buying a home”. I think that is a damn good gift!

I think the best gift he could give me is working together as a team to buy this new home. Not buying me a present is exactly what I want. It shows his level of commitment to our goal and his ability to avoid social pressure.

If Eric had bought me jewelry I would have been mortified. That may be hard for some people to believe but it is the honest truth. I would have felt betrayed because buying me something like that goes against everything we have been working so hard for this year.

What we are doing to celebrate our anniversary is using some gift certificates we got from cashing in some credit card points to go to dinner. This will give us a nice evening out without affecting our pocket book. I think that is lovely and very appropriate. It makes me smile to think we are celebrating our first anniversary on a dime to help us meet our goal.

Besides, isn’t the first anniversary the “paper” anniversary, anyway? Shouldn’t a card be enough?

Update: Even as I prepare to post this Eric is still asking me if I really am ok with no gifts. Before going to that dinner he never questioned if he was doing the right thing by accepting my wishes at face value. Societal norms can really mess with you, huh?

Image Source: Swamibu

10 Classes To (Hopefully) Fix My Life

I got tagged by Kyle, my meme loving buddy, over at Rather Be Shopping with a new meme. The revenge tag is the best kind of tag, I’m told. :-)

Anyways, I’m glad he tagged me because I like this meme. I think there is enough in my life that needs fixing to warrant a challenging courseload.

Devise a list of 5-10 courses you would take to fix your life. It’s more fun to be in classes with friends, so include one class from the person who tagged you that you’d also like to take. Tag five.

I was often an over-achiever in school so I’ll go for the gusto and choose 10 classes that I’d like to take to fix my life:

I need to learn Photoshop 1. Winning Contests 101 – This is the class I’d take with Kyle. I, too, would love to learn how to win these contests. I never seem to have luck on my side in contests, yet others win multiple prizes or even lotteries. Crazy.

2. Advanced Photoshop (for dummies) – This would be a great class for me. I have a ton of good photos that have the potential to be great with just a little advanced Photoshop tweaking. I can already do some of the basics but I want to learn how to turn a shot into art. This could take the pics in my reducipes to a whole new level!

3. Self-Confidence 101 – Sometimes I have issues feeling confident about my work/abilities/progress/decisions/whatever. I think I would be a happier and more confident person if I could acknowledge my achievements and not nit-pick and second-guess them. Isn’t it funny how we tend to be so much harder on ourselves than the people we love?

4. Home Economics - The REALLY good kind of Home Ec not the “lame-high-school-lets-boil-water” kind that I missed out on. I think a class that could teach me how to properly clean/restore just about everything, economize all my household spending, prepare weekly meals that maximized my pantry while minimizing my costs, and how to prep and cook anything anywhere anytime would be great. I’m sure if this class existed it would be a 10-year course taught by a team of professional grandmas.

5. Produce Gardening for Beginners - I have no idea how to garden but I want to start one in the new house. I don’t want to kill everything I put in the ground next year so this course would be very useful. I think eating something that I grew all by myself would be surreal to me. Having just said that makes me a little sad. I need to garden, if anything just to get in touch with the reality of how we get fresh food.

6. The Secret to Absolute Productivity – I would take this class in a heartbeat. I need to feel and be more productive with my days. Sometimes I look at the clock and what I’ve completed and wonder where the day went. I have a million things on my to-do list that never seem to get done. I need a serious time management butt kicking boot camp.

7. Bread Baking 101 – I am not afraid of or a failure at baking bread I just need to learn from an expert on how to perfect my baking. My pita bread tastes great but it doesn’t rise and create a pocket. My white loaf tastes great but it isn’t light and airy like store-bought sandwich bread. I need some people who have mad baking skillz to teach me the tricks of the trade. That would make me (and my bread-loving husband) happy.

8. Personal Investing 201 – Having graduated from a top 20 business school, I’ve taken courses in finance and investing but I still don’t feel like I learned much about investing for MY future. Those courses were more focused on business rather than for the individual. The course I would want to take would cover strategies and risk management for the home investor.

9. Feline Medicine – If you saw our vet bills you would know why I’d take this course. ‘Nuff said.

10. The Art of Persuasion 101 – Imagine if you could convince anyone of anything. Talk about a course to fix your life! I would get the best deals on everything, never pay a fine, never lose an argument, and potentially rule the world with that skill set. Ehhh, I’d probably just convince someone else to rule the world and persuade them to listen to me. I promise I’d only use this superpower for good, not evil.

Ahhhh, if only the act of taking a class would mean I’d learn and implement the subject matter required to “fix” my life. I will tag just three people for this meme: Brip Blap, Punny Money, and Clever Dude. I bet these guys would have some interesting answers for this one.

Image Source: NoiseCollusion

The Carnival Review #9

Carnivals rock Step right up, it’s time for the carnival review!

This week I hosted my first ever carnival, Make It From Scratch #37 – The Frugal Edition. I really enjoyed being able to host one of these carnivals instead of just reviewing them! If you haven’t gotten a chance to check out all the wonderful do-it-yourself projects in this edition you are missing out!

Here are some of my favorite posts from the carnivals this week:

Stay Away From Department Store Credit Cards @ Money Blue Book - I have been guilty of signing up for a Target card in the past just to save 10%. But is saving a small amount really worth the ding to my credit and the added complexity of having more cards? Probably not unless it is a huge purchase.

Money vs Time Off: Why We Don’t Take Vacations @ The Digerati Life - This is so true. Eric has almost hit the maximum vacation time he can accumulate because he never uses it. That’s about to change though. He will be taking a lot of time off around the move.

Make Your Own Laundry Detergent Debate @ Got No Dough - This makes me wonder. Maybe we should focus on trying to cut spending somewhere else if we are trying to save money by making homemade laundry detergent. Surely there are other places to cut before it comes to this.

To DirectBuy or Not To DirectBuy @ Mrs. Micah -DirectBuy sales tactics are scammy and that is all there is to it. ”Sign up now and pay thousands of dollars or never come back” is guaranteed to make me run far, far away. And it should for you, too.

Eating is to money as food is to debt @ Collecting My Cash - Interesting story about how stress can make you turn to something for comfort, whether it’s shopping or food.

Carnivals from around the web:

Carnival of Money Stores #32 – True Financial Horror Stories @ The Baglady - Eric’s sad story about when saying no can help was an editor’s pick! Awesome!

Carnival of Debt Reduction #111 – What’s Scarier Than Debt? @ I’ve Paid Twice For This Already

Festival of Frugality #98 – The Happy Halloween Edition @ Being Frugal

Carnival of Personal Finance – Trick or Treat Edition @ Millionaire Mommy Next Door

Carnival of the Recipes – Tricks and Treats Edition @ Booklore

Carnival of Ethics, Values, and Personal Finance @ Money And Values

All Women Blogging Carnival @ Mad Goat Lady

Twenty Something Finances @ My Adventures into The Street

Image Source: Jewe

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